


Wolfstar for the Soul

by Stars_and_Scars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stars_and_Scars/pseuds/Stars_and_Scars
Relationships: Remus x Sirius - Relationship, wolfstar - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Wolfstar for the Soul

Sirius lay on his bed in Gryffindor tower, twirling his wand in his long, slender fingers and staring up at the canopy. Remus wondered what he was thinking about. He seemed to be wondering things like that a lot recently. What Sirius was thinking, where Sirius was going. Why Sirius made his heart flutter just by looking at him.

No, stop it. He’s your friend. Nothing more. Just a friend.

Remus’ internal conflict was interrupted by the sound of Sirius sighing. “Hey, Rem, I think I’m gonna go down to dinner. James said he wants to talk about a prank and I’m bloody starving. D’you wanna come?”

For a second Remus forgot to answer as he looked at Sirius, standing there with his tie hanging loose around his neck and that bloody leather jacket that fit him so well.

“Remus?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be down in a minute. I’m just gonna do some tidying up around here first”, was all he could manage to get out. It wasn’t a bad lie either, as the dormitory had become less of a room and more of a pile of assorted clothing, wrappers and other, less savoury items over the last few weeks.

“Kay” Sirius turned and walked out of the dormitory. Remus sank down onto his bed. God that boy took his breath away. With his long dark hair and his handsome grin, he could see why he made all the girls go crazy.

Girls, Remus. He’s straight. And even if he wasn’t, he’d never go for someone like you…

Remus shook his head as though trying to make the thought fall out, but thoughts like that had a peculiar way of sticking in Remus’ head with stubborn determination. So, he got up and started putting things away. First, he did the laundry, then he started to strip and remake the beds. He’d done his, James’ and Peter’s, and was turning to do Sirius’ when he noticed something. The corner of an open book was poking out from underneath Sirius’ pillow.

Filled with curiosity, he picked it up.

Oh, shit.

It was a diary. Remus knew he wasn’t meant to read this, and went to put it down, but something caught his eye. A little heart that seemed to be absentmindedly doodled in the top left-hand corner of the page. Remus’ heartbeat quickened.

So Sirius did like someone. Was there a chance… No! As much as Remus tried, he just couldn’t bring himself to believe that a beautiful specimen like Sirius would ever fall for an ugly, scar-covered, royally fucked-up werewolf like himself. But some part of him never stopped hoping. Ever since Remus had realized his feelings for Sirius in 3rd year, a small piece of his heart had always kept yearning for the sound of his voice, for the touch of his fingers. Maybe it was this part now that drove him to start reading, instead of putting the diary down as he knew he should.

I think I’m in love with him. I don’t know how to handle it. I’ve tried so hard to convince myself otherwise, and I almost manage, but then I look up and his fucking eyes are there being so goddamn beautiful, and I can’t lie to myself anymore. I love him.

Remus’ heart dropped like a stone. So he does like boys. And I’m still not good enough for him. He threw the book down on the floor and sank to his knees next to it. A single tear rolled down his cheek and dropped onto the page, smudging a single word. And that word changed his life.

Remus.

Hands shaking, he picked the book back up and began to re-read that sentence.

I’m in love with Remus.

He read it over and over again a thousand times. Then he read the rest of the book. It was all about him. About how Sirius had loved him since 4th year. About how his heart quickened whenever they touched, about how he couldn’t get him out of his head. And about other things too. Things that broke Remus’ heart.

I gave up today. I was sitting at the breakfast table and Remus came and sat down next to me. He looked breathtaking, as usual, but I tore my eyes away from him with great difficulty. Fuck, I have no clue what I’d do is he found out about how I feel. Anyway, just then, some first-year girl I didn’t recognize came and sat in an empty seat near us. She had clearly been crying and looked like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. Without hesitation, Remus got up to see if she was okay. He just stood up and strolled around the table to her side. Just like that. And they talked for about 10 minutes, and then she thanked him, and left.

That’s when I realized that I should give up on any hope that he’d ever love me. Because Remus if the most wonderful, loving, kind person in the world, and I don’t deserve him. I’m lucky enough to be accepted by him as a pure-blood and a Black. If he found out that a fucked-up mess like me had feelings for him, I might just lose him. And I could never deal with that. I couldn’t lose Remus.

My parents were right. No-one will ever love me. I’m worthless.

Remus didn’t know how long he sat there crying. Sirius found him lying on the floor, sobbing, his whole body shaking almost to the point of convulsion.

“Remus! Remus are you okay?”, the boy rushed over to his friend. Remus jumped up, wiping away his tears. “Re, what happened? Who did this to you? I swear, if it was Mulciber, I’ll fucking kill hi-”

That was when he noticed the book in Remus’ hand. His face collapsed. The anger was gone, but so was the handsome twinkle in his eyes. Remus was left looking at a picture of pure despair.

“Do you really love me?”, was all that Remus could say.

Hanging his head, Sirius slowly nodded. “I’m so sorry Remus. I tried to push it down, I really did, but I just couldn’t get you out of my head. If you never want to see me again, that’s fine. I’ll ask if I can transfer to another dorm”. Sirius slowly raised his eyes, and Remus saw that they were filled with tears.

When he raised his arm, Sirius flinched, expecting Remus to hit him. So he was shocked when instead he was pulled forwards by his tie and Remus’ mouth smashed into his. For a second, he was paralyzed, but then years of pent up feelings took over, and he kissed Remus back.

Wrapping his arms around Remus’ strong body, he tangled his hands into his hair and secured himself there like he never wanted to let go (which, in honesty, he didn’t). Remus’ tongue slid into his mouth as the taller boy picked him up and walked over to the bed with ease. Neither of them knew how long the kiss lasted, but it felt like and eternity of them just trying to be together. Exploring every inch of each other, becoming familiar with the smells and tastes and warmth of their partner’s body. When they finally broke apart, Remus was dizzy. It took him a second to come back to his senses.

Resting his head against Sirius’, he whispered 3 words that belonged to the beautiful black-haired boy now.

“I love you too”.


End file.
